Haven't posted anything new lately. I've been busy, but not THAT busy. I have been meaning to go over my notes and post little nuggets of wisdom gleaned from WAJ (has it ALREADY been over a week?) and I am still going to. Right now I am trying to go over what goals I want to set for the upcoming songwriting year.
It is amazing how many failures come to mind when you are trying set goals.
I'm not going to get all Eeyore on you, and I am definitely not fishing for positive affirmation from my friends (Not that I would decline or delete your comments!), but when I take a look at all of the missteps, mistakes, and mishaps I wonder if I have it in me. Well, I know I have it in me, but failure is never fun. Failure, however, need not be final, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
At the beginning of the year, when I joined the St. Louis Songwriter's Group, Melissa asked what was the last thing holding us back from reaching our goals. In a very vulnerable moment, without hesitation I answered "Learning to trust myself." Not that I am a bastion of wisdom and knowledge. Far from it. It's just that I have found that second guessing what I feel in my gut has cost me. Those recurring regrets can quickly drain your self confidence.
I have decided that something must change. Dwelling in the 3 M's (missteps, mistakes, and mishaps) cannot be an option. Sure I have made bad business decisions (some that will affect me for YEARS...don't ask, please), bad personal choices, some just plain bad choices, period. At times I deeply mourn over friendships lost, opportunities squandered, good will eroded. I'm not admitting to any gross immorality, not getting ready to relay sordid tales of indiscretion, not saying that I have left a path of emotional destruction in my wake...I'm simply saying I have made mistakes. For some reason I'm saying it with a little more angst than usual (my last post excluded.)
One wise man said that if he could kick the guy that give him the most trouble in the seat of the pants he couldn't sit for a week. I'm with you, bro. I'm so with you.
Having said that, I'll keep reaching for the stars, keep striving for the divine, keep pursuing the passion God has placed in my heart. Paul said we must move past the things that are behind us. Goals must be set. I just have to write them down.
PS - I'm really not depressed, not on suicide watch, not ready to throw in the towel. WAJ just affected me emotionally in a way that I am having trouble describing. Of course, that troubles me, because my goal is to hone my craft so that I am able to effectively convey those emotions (with the fewest possible words.) Hey, there is one goal right there!
It is amazing how many failures come to mind when you are trying set goals.
I'm not going to get all Eeyore on you, and I am definitely not fishing for positive affirmation from my friends (Not that I would decline or delete your comments!), but when I take a look at all of the missteps, mistakes, and mishaps I wonder if I have it in me. Well, I know I have it in me, but failure is never fun. Failure, however, need not be final, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
At the beginning of the year, when I joined the St. Louis Songwriter's Group, Melissa asked what was the last thing holding us back from reaching our goals. In a very vulnerable moment, without hesitation I answered "Learning to trust myself." Not that I am a bastion of wisdom and knowledge. Far from it. It's just that I have found that second guessing what I feel in my gut has cost me. Those recurring regrets can quickly drain your self confidence.
I have decided that something must change. Dwelling in the 3 M's (missteps, mistakes, and mishaps) cannot be an option. Sure I have made bad business decisions (some that will affect me for YEARS...don't ask, please), bad personal choices, some just plain bad choices, period. At times I deeply mourn over friendships lost, opportunities squandered, good will eroded. I'm not admitting to any gross immorality, not getting ready to relay sordid tales of indiscretion, not saying that I have left a path of emotional destruction in my wake...I'm simply saying I have made mistakes. For some reason I'm saying it with a little more angst than usual (my last post excluded.)
One wise man said that if he could kick the guy that give him the most trouble in the seat of the pants he couldn't sit for a week. I'm with you, bro. I'm so with you.
Having said that, I'll keep reaching for the stars, keep striving for the divine, keep pursuing the passion God has placed in my heart. Paul said we must move past the things that are behind us. Goals must be set. I just have to write them down.
PS - I'm really not depressed, not on suicide watch, not ready to throw in the towel. WAJ just affected me emotionally in a way that I am having trouble describing. Of course, that troubles me, because my goal is to hone my craft so that I am able to effectively convey those emotions (with the fewest possible words.) Hey, there is one goal right there!
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3 comments:
I have a quote on my blog that says, "There comes a time in every man's life when he must stop thinking and start doing."
And titles on blogs are for wimps, I use non-sensical words that don't in any way relate to my blog
entry.
I'm really looking forward to music you'll be working on in the future so keep writing!
One of my college instructors had a sign in his classroom:
"Failure is not an option!"
I should have scribbled in "Wallowing in..." at the beginning. I have never know you to be down and stay down very long. That co-write with J. Lindsey, or number one hit, or SSQ recording may never come. Or maybe it will. No matter, you are still the world's greatest big brother...and always will be. You songs have always touched the lives in our church and churches we have ministered in. I know that is your ultimate goal.
ps I am almost ready to send you another email. :)
Memo to self: Read future blog posts 25.5 times and EDIT before posting for the world to see.
I'm really not down, folks. I guess when you are actually honest, open, and...gasp!...vulnerable, it's jarring for people who are used to only seeing the mask.
What would happen in our relationships, churches, and families if we actually ditched the masks we love to hide behind?
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